Fr. J. D. Ousley

One evening last summer, I happened to be listening to National Public Radio, and I heard a story about a new project in Massachusetts.

The project is a state-sponsored program for unmarried teen-age mothers and their children. The Massachusetts state government provides living arrangements and support staff so that the impoverished mothers can keep their children with them.

Now while I had no particular impression whether this program worked, I was struck by one of the benefits the mothers received during their time in the state residences. In addition to job training instruction and parenting, and other subjects one might expect, the mothers were also given lessons in what was called, "anger management."

The program directors found that the teenagers were often angry. They were mad because they'd been abandoned by the fathers of their children. Or they were angry at themselves for getting pregnant when they knew they couldn't support their children. So, counselors provided a class to help the mothers deal with their anger in order that they then could focus on getting jobs and supporting themselves.

Afterwards, the radio program made me think what would an ideal "anger management" class look like? What do we need to learn to "manage" our anger? Those of us who aren't blessed with calm dispositions find these questions of great personal interest!

Would we have to look for the root causes of our resentments? Would we need to discover patterns of behavior that we fall into patterns of behavior that make us more likely to get mad? (For example, a person who always leaves at the last minute to get to appointments might be more prone to be angry when she encounters delays.)

And would the anger management program teach us new habits to help us avoid these temptations?

As it happens, today's scripture lessons could be assigned reading for such a course! They discuss the spiritual issues that are raised by anger.

The author of the Apocryphal Book of Ecclesiasticus writes: "Anger and wrath are abominations, yet a sinner holds onto them."

The author goes on to ask: "Does anyone harbor anger against another, and expect healing from the Lord?" How, in other words, can people ask forgiveness from God when they are unforgiving of others?

And St. Paul challenges the Roman Christians with this question: "Why do you despise your brother or sister?" How can church members be furious at each other if they are really brothers and sisters in Christ?

Finally, the Gospel passage records one of the times when Jesus commends forgiveness as a cure for the damage of conflict. In this particular text, Jesus advises one of his followers to be willing to forgive another follower as many as 77 times!

Now, granted, these passages don't say all there is to be said spiritually about the subject of anger. They concentrate on one kind: our resentments against people we already know.

So, for example, this anger isn't the same emotion as the righteous indignation that we might express against corrupt politicians-a form of anger that can lead to political reform and isn't sinful at all! (That's why it's called "righteous indignation.")

Instead, these passages are addressed to those who battle with friends or relatives-including those who make up the "family" of the Church. While this is not the only kind of anger we have to deal with, it's often very hard to handle.

For one thing, we tend to get mad at people we know, over and over again. Since we see our friends and family more frequently than we see others, they have more chances to annoy us!

You may be furious at a truck driver who almost hits you as you try to cross the street-but the odds are extremely low that you will ever have occasion to be angry with that same truck driver again.

Family members, by contrast, are with you for life -- and all their faults are with you, too. Neighbors, friends, colleagues at work, members of the church: all these folks may share your life for years on end.

Christ's parable, though, suggests one intriguing way to contain anger. Paradoxically, our resentment of some people can be eased by the help of other people whom we are close to!

In the Gospel story, a slave who has been forgiven an enormous debt turns around and berates a fellow slave because the slave owes him a tiny amount of money. If the first slave had been grateful for the forgiveness of his own astronomical debt, he would have wanted to promote the same feeling in his fellow servant. But this first slave fails to see how his behavior is bound up with that of other people.

In addition, anger often arises in the first place when we neglect our ties with others. Often if we feel angry at the world, what we need is an evening with good company! Loving concern from another human being can serve to check our anger over trivial matters or over things that we can't control. The Methodist theologian Stanley Hauerwas is famous for his writings, including many books and articles in favor of pacifism. To those who know him though, Hauerwas is also famous for his fiery temper and for the sharp profanity he directs against people he disagrees with.

Now people have asked Professor Hauerwas this question: how he can be a pacifist and at the same time possess such a violent temper? He replies that he proclaims his commitment to peace so that people will keep him from murdering someone!

Behind the joke is a serious point. Professor Hauerwas conceives of the church as a supportive community of people who help each other. Christians don't need to control their anger by themselves; the whole point of the church is to be a strengthening part of God's "Peaceable Kingdom."

And it's a fact that we feel more foolish if we behave badly in front of people we respect. So as a Christian community, we keep each other honest.

Of course, none of us in perfect. Nor is our community perfect. But as St. Paul says, "we can speak the truth in love."

By doing that, we can recognize our anger, and we can even manage it; we can forgive others who trespass against us -- as we ourselves are forgiven.

And now unto that same God Father, Son, and Holy Spirit be ascribed as is most justly due all might, majesty, power, dominion and praise, now and forever, Amen.