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Home Page
The Rector's Welcome
Worship
Sermons
Music & the Organ
Newsletter
Schedule & Events
History
Programs & Ministries
Tour the Building
Links
Map & Directions
Monthly Calendar
Home Page
The Rector's Welcome
Worship
Sermons
Music & the Organ
Newsletter
Schedule & Events
History
Programs & Ministries
Tour the Building
Links
Map & Directions
Monthly Calendar
Fr. J. D. Ousley
27 August 2006Ephesians 5“The Bible and Marriage”
In the Name of God: Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier. Amen.
"Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the Church ..."
I would guess that there are not many Episcopalian wives who would count this text as one of their favorite parts of the Bible! On the surface, St. Paul seems to hold a woefully out-of-date view of the relationship between husbands and wives.
But before we dismiss the text as archaic, it may be worth analyzing why people strongly object to it.
For one thing, members of our church believe that men and women are equal in the sight of God. None of us are "subject" to others; wives aren't subject to husbands. As St. Paul himself wrote in another of his letters, "in Christ, there is no ... male nor female." All persons are "one in Christ Jesus."
It follows, then, that if men and women are essentially equal, any marriages they enter into should reflect that equality.
It seems likely that this modern view of marriage has already had an effect on how some Bible passages about marriage are interpreted. For example, in the marriage ceremony in our Book of Common Prayer, there used to be different vows for brides and grooms.
Brides had to promise to "obey" their husbands, while grooms weren't asked to make that commitment to their wives. But, as times changed, Episcopalians came to believe that this requirement imposed an unfair distinction between women and men. So in 1928, the bride's vow to "obey" was dropped from the Prayer Book.
And while such changes are welcome to the modern sensibility, we should also notice that the traditional Christian teaching about marriage from the beginning, provided support for women. Our teaching about marriage gave women protection that they weren't granted by other cultures and religions.
At the time Jesus was preaching 2000 years ago, the Hebrew religion allowed for relatively quick and easy divorce — especially for men. Moreover, the husband usually wound up with most of the property after the marriage ended.
In Roman society at that time, divorce was even easier, and the rights of wives were correspondingly almost non-existent. Scholars believe this is why Jesus and the early Church condemned divorce in most circumstances.
Now in doing this, church leaders weren't trying to impose a rigid morality for its own sake. Rather, they were trying to apply the rules of marriage equally to both men and women.
Divorce was already difficult for women to obtain, so they didn't lose anything under the church's rules. The main effect of the Christian restrictions on divorce was to prevent husbands from casting off their wives when they felt like it!
And that is precisely the point of another part of the Bible lesson we heard today, a text that is often overlooked. In the same lesson, Paul also has some advice for men. He says to them, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her ..."
Now, this admonition would have come as news to many men of that time. These husbands had a casual idea of marriage. Their brides belonged to them; love had little to do with it.
In this regard too, Paul's words may not be out of date. In some African countries today, husbands fail to respect their wives. In these countries, huge numbers of married Christian men have contracted the AIDS virus from prostitutes, and then subsequently passed the virus on to their wives. Hardly an example of husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church ...
But such tragic cases only support the view that the long-term effect of Christian teaching wasn't "offensive." Rather our doctrines established groundwork for the ideal of what is now called companionate marriage. Husbands and wives are to be equal "partners" in marriage, committed to loving and cherishing each other, and blessed by God.
Granted even within our own culture, this ideal seems hard to put into practice. Couples may find it impossible to honor each other; they can't compromise when they have problems. The result is that half of American marriages end in divorce.
Ironically, marriages fail even among members of those Christian churches that preach a very strict observance of biblical teaching or who uphold church laws forbidding divorce! Even for conservative Christians, the old interpretation has proven impossible to follow.
Now, the Episcopal Church doesn't require a strict interpretation of Scripture. By contrast with the churches that have unbending rules about marriage, we allow for the re-marriage of divorced persons if they have permission of their local clergy and bishop. Yet, our church can hardly claim that our marriages are perfect. Episcopalian couples don't always respect each other, nor are they always equal partners in marriage. Nor do their marriages always endure.
A bishop was recently elected in California who had been divorced twice and married three times. "We may hope he has now found the right mate.) So while we allow people freedom to make mistakes and try again after their marriages fail, we recognize that this tolerant policy may not always work. People sometimes fail to learn from their mistakes.
Looking then at the Bible's teaching on marriage, we Anglicans find ourselves between two positions. On the one hand, we may feel that the traditional teaching restricting divorce seems impossible to follow; a softer interpretation appears necessary in many instances.
On the other hand, it seems to us that we also have to affirm the traditional article of faith that marriage is a free joining together of adults who are making a lifelong commitment to each other.
Perhaps the critical point is that Christian marriage makes people who are called to this relationship happy. As our marriage rite says, the sacrament is intended by God for the couple's Amutual joy,@ for the help they can give each other "in prosperity and adversity" and Awhen it is God's will, the gift and heritage of children."
So If we put aside the debates about when to allow divorce, and we accept that men and women are equal partners in marriage, we end up with an idea to be proud of. Companionate marriage between two loving people is a gift. A gift from God.
While there are other ways people find to be together, the Bible is right to promote this way in particular. While some people are called to be single, marriage should still as the Prayer Book says be "honored among all people."
And the church rightly teaches that marriage is not honored when husbands treat their wives like personal slaves. Or when husbands discard wives in order to acquire younger brides. (These two degrading forms of marriage were common in the world of Jesus and they are hardly unheard of in our own times.)
Like other Scriptural texts on ethical issues then, the Bible's teaching on marriage has to be pondered, and considered, and interpreted. For this teaching is not meant to force people to live in a way that will make them miserable.
Rather, our faith tell people about the gifts God wants them to have. For some, marriage is one of those gifts. Marriage is one way that today's Psalm acknowledges, God shows us "the path of life." And wherever we are led along the path of life, the Psalm says in God's "presence there is fullness of joy, and [at God's] right hand are pleasures for evermore."
And now unto that same God Father, Son, and Holy Spirit be ascribed as is most justly due all might, majesty, power, dominion and praise, now and forever, Amen.